There's a lot of talk in the spiritual world about constantly choosing love over fear. To reach for a positive thought or affirmation when we're feeling down. Or even to identify a 'negative' emotion as a sign that we're doing something wrong, and we need to reorient ourselves back to our truths.
Now, while some of this does make sense to me (I'm all for choosing love) - sometimes these messages can get misinterpreted, and many of us will simply end up stuffing down our true feelings, because we've come to believe that they're not OK to have.
What we often miss is that the point is to LOVE the moment, and to love the feelings. And this means getting honest about them.
I've noticed times in my life when I affirm that 'I'm happy and all is well' - when I'm not. A part of my being is literally crying inside and needs attention, and by pretending that's not the case, I do myself a great disservice.
When I'm off, and I'm trying to affirm my feelings away, something in my being goes 'This feels like I'm treading above water with an ever decreasing amount of energy to stay afloat'.
Now as a Cancer with her moon in Scorpio (for those not familiar with astrology, this is a recipe for intense underlying emotions) - I am prone to my fair share of deep soul feelings. And as such, I have learned that my best bet is to always - HONOUR THEM.
Sometimes honouring the emotion can only take a second or two. For example, someone cuts you off in traffic and you feel a surge of anger? Great! Don't judge it, it's a perfectly human thing you just experienced. Let it pass through you, and over you. FEEL IT to heal it, then move onto forgiveness and willingness to see it differently when you're ready.
When I have a deeper lodged emotion that sort of hangs out with me all day (I experience this often in my second chakra - the tummy area - the seat of our feminine intuition and switchboard for our nervous system) - this is what I do.
Instead of, again, bandaid-ing the issue by affirming I'm OK when I'm not, I find some quiet time as soon as I can. Sometimes I have to wait a few hours if I have meetings or what not, but as soon as I can, I find a safe, warm space (usually my bed) and I do nothing else but BREATHE deep into my belly. I don't get up until I feel like at least a little bit of it has processed. Often times when I do this, a big release will occur in the form of tears.
Here are a few more tips to get you through the times when deep seated emotions come up:
1. Stop asking Why
I first learned this technique in 'Healing Wise' by Susun Weed . When you ask 'Why do I feel this way?' - inevitably your mind will point you to a) Things you did 'wrong' b) A situation that may have simply been a trigger, not the cause.
Don't deplete your energy by letting your logical mind try to 'figure it out'. Although tempting, the source may be a number of things you just won't understand consciously - ie. A past life memory was just triggered, the moon is passing through Cancer, someone you're cosmically connected to is going through a hard time - or yes, because you ate that sandwich with gluten in it and now your intestinal tract is inflamed. There could be a million reasons, it's not your job to logic the heck out of them. It's simply your job to ACCEPT and EXPERIENCE .
2. Breathe into the Feeling + Do Nothing Else
This is key. Breathing into the feeling works much better if you are able to give your presence to it. Your consciousness (awareness) is light, and when you focus your consciousness on the energy at hand, you are feeding it light. The breathe allows even more healing energy to come in, while letting go of stagnation and old pain.
I usually just go to my bed, lie down, get warm, put my hand on my belly, and breathe in and out. Sometimes for 5 minutes, sometimes for an hour. I might do this a few times a day when there's something especially deep coming up and out.
3. Ask Archangel Jophiel or Michael for help
Or any other beings you work with such as Jesus or Quan Yin. Simply ask "Archangel Jophiel, I'm experiencing a feeling that seems too much to deal with right now. Please help me in any way you can. I am willing to surrender this pain to you now." That prayer is just an example, there's a million ways to ask for help - it's just important that you do!
4. Know When to Keep Moving
After you've been with the feeling and nothing else, and you've asked for help, if it still persists, then know you've done what you can and it's in Spirit's hands now. Go about your day, and nourish yourself in any way you can. Listen to your body and your intuition. If they ask you for yoga, tea with a girlfriend, a long nature walk, great sex, or an epic night out dancing, then make sure to do it.
5. Remember - It's Coming up to be Healed - It's a Good thing!
Again - you gotta feel it to heal it! Most of the time, when intense emotion comes up, it's a good sign. It means old, stagnant pain is ready to come up and out. It's ready to be healed 4 eva! The sooner we can just BE with it and look at it - rather than distracting ourselves from it, or stuffing it down - the sooner it can be healed.
We weren't taught how to honour and work with the powerful tides of emotions in school, so this is where we require the support of our sisters and the wise women.
May you learn the incredible power of your emotions. May you honour your feminine rhythms.
Love and light!