Judgement. What a big one. This post is not intended to be a quick fix cure all for those critical thoughts, but an introduction to tools that we can all use to invite more love into the equation.
It doesn't feel good to be judged. And it doesn't feel good to judge. But in a society of young women raised on Cosmopolitan, Mean Girls, and cut throat competition, it's no wonder that we all suffer from this frankly, quite depressing, aspect of separation.
So when we first start to become conscious, and become more mindful of our thoughts + how they make us feel, we can tend to be overwhelmed by the quantity of judgement thoughts. I know I was. But when I truly started seeing all the chitter chatter that criticized and nitpicked, I did something that didn't exactly help the situation:
I judged the thoughts.
I would get upset with myself for being a 'bad person'. And I would literally yell at myself inside my head to stop. It took me at least a few months to realize that this behaviour was taking me away from my goal of more self-love + love for the women I was with. Judging judgement simply creates more of it.
So that brings me to the first step. The next time you find a thought that you're not jiving with, head straight to forgiveness. Forgive yourself when the thoughts come up. Forgive. Compassionately. With zest. Forgive.
You can say mentally "I am wiling to forgive myself for this thought. I know it's simply conditioning and past experiences that have brought me here, and I am now willing to change. I choose the voice of love instead."
Once you've forgiven yourself for the thought, I recommend finding one thing that is beautiful about the person you have judged. Whether that's yourself or someone else. If this is hard for you, all the more reason to do it. You have to remember that the world is our reflection. When we are finding things we dislike in other women, we are really just disliking ourselves. So finding qualities of beauty in that babe is simply going to remind you of your own goodness. Likewise, when focused on the self, finding points of grace within will help you to be more loving with everyone else in your life.
Step 1. Forgive. Step 2. Find One Thing That is Beautiful.
We have to remember that we are dealing with deep collective wounds that women share. Not only have we been denied equal stance with our brothers for centuries, but we've also been pitted against each other in the collective unconscious.
Remember that women, in the past, weren't given opportunities to create money, own land, or even vote, therefore, the entirety of their security, survival and safety, was placed on their ability to secure a husband. And a well off husband at that. Imagine the competition that ensued from such a scenario. It is so sad to think about the shadow sides of the feminine. But it is so necessary to go here at times, so that we can remember that compassion is needed for the wounds to heal.
Be honest about your vulnerabilities and your fears. Forgive yourself for your judgment. Understand that it's engrained, yet we are here to wash away old patterning and channel a new energy of love and oneness into the world.
Find the beauty in your sisters. Find the beauty in yourself.
And of course, don't forget to ask your angels for help. Archangel Jophiel and Archangel Ariel are feminine powerhouses that can help you whenever you need.
Simply say "Archangel ________, please guide to me to choose higher thoughts of love about other women, and about myself. Please guide my thoughts in a way that reflects our oneness. Thank you for helping me to forgive myself, and to forgive others.'