Wild Women Musings

Are feelings of "not-enoughness" getting you down?

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In the work that I do, I get the privilege of speaking to many people behind the scenes... I'm not sure how many readings and coaching sessions I have given at this point, but certainly to hundreds and hundreds of people, possibly a thousand.

With this, comes getting to know what's happening "behind the scenes". With my intention to hold safe space, many people tell me things they don't tell many of their friends.

And with this, I can most certainly say...

You are not alone.

Whatever struggle you're experiencing, whatever shadow in your soul is pushing you into psychosis, whatever wounds you have... you are not alone.

I speak to the people that seem to have it all.

I speak to the people that seem limitlessly confident.

I speak to the people who are wealthy and have successful businesses on the outside.

I speak to the people who have flawless photography.

And I hear them.

I hear their demons, their fears, their insecurities, their heart pain, their wounding.... I have the honour of knowing what's going on behind the scenes.

And though all of this information will stay forever confidential, what I've learned from it, will not.

We are more alike than we seem. 
Every single person is going through some sort of internal struggle. 
We all have times we don't feel good enough and compare. 
We all have dark nights of the soul.

And in this, we are unconditionally loved. It is my invitation for you, in this moment, to drop the comparing mind, if only just for this moment, and realize, how much is going on under the surface of the facade.

May we be brave enough to share our behind the scenes experiences so others don't feel so lonely. And may we be wise enough to see behind the scenes and know we are all one human heart, beating together.

No one is left behind.

I love you. 
Thank you for trusting me enough to share your depths. 
Thank you for your Spirit. 
Which is unconditionally loved, 
Held, 
And true.

Jailbreak into my dreams...

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Announce yourself unexpectedly

In my sleeping hours

For the thousandth time

Literally

 

I’ll push you away

As you do with me

But we both know

That will never work

 

Cosmic roots run too deep

But so does prejudice

And fear

In this earthly life

 

Whatever the lesson

The way to complete freedom

Show me

I surrender

 

Take me there Spirit

I am your willing participant

Unshackle the chains of attachment

Help me to plunge

Into the river of clarity


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Social Media Comparisons + Inside My Soul

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It's so easy to compare and compete
Matching up social media images
To perceived ideas of other's lives

But let me make it clear
As much as there is joy and purpose
Flowing through me
There is also a torrential downpour
Of collective pain
That stays with me
As I move around the world
Sleep in my cozy bed
And make food
For my body temple

And with this,
I open
To the work
Of transmuting

Part snake
Part mermaid
Part deep and dark
Part light and expansive
Everything exists within me


Demonize me
Or put me on a pedastal
But I'll always be
Just like you
A being
Who holds the entire Universe
Within


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Sister to Sister

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I don’t want to be another girl you compare yourself to

Or woman

Whichever term you prefer

 

Better than

Or less than

2 sides of the same pendulum

 

I want to be beyond that with you

I want you to know I live with shame in my veins

Crusty residue of a society ready to fall

 

I want you to know I long for the same things you do

For everlasting love + deep peace within

 

Sometimes I feel like I fall short in so many ways

But still I try, and live each day, aiming to be more me

More true

Just like you

 

I have days where I feel sexy as fuck

And groggy as fuck

 

I question my decisions

Over-analyze things I cannot change

Explode with joy

And crumble with pain

 

Whenever I post

I want you to feel my humanity

My genuine desire for connection

That underlies everything I do

 

I’m not perfect

I will piss you off

Make you question things

Delight you with my vulnerability

And maybe even shock you

With my defensiveness

 

I am made of blood and bones

Of stardust and thrones

And dear sister

I want you to know

 

That I know

You are made

Of those things

Too

 

I don’t want to be another girl you compare yourself to

Or woman

Whichever term you prefer

 

Better than

Or less than

2 sides of the same pendulum

 

I want to be beyond that with you


 

And there you are in my newsfeed, with your sexy smile...

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Oh and there you are in my newsfeed
Popping up with your sexy smile
Even though we are friends
I was interested in more
And you politely declined

And there I witness that part of me
That yearns for validation
Oh if you liked me
Then I would be sexy too

And so we do this
For I know I’m not alone
Searching the world for people
To validate our self-worth

Temporary highs, we gain
And yet, inevitably
If I adhere to the old way
Of validation from the outside

When they don’t like me
Or I say something “wrong”
I come crashing down

But everytime I crash
I grow stronger and smarter
For I dont like that feeling at all

Here I am, in all my glory, whole
Like you, like us all, 
And I can no longer afford,

To wiggle my way into your graces
That are so temporary
That are so… unsatisfying

I’m amazing
Not because you say I am
Or don’t
Not because I’m better than
Or less

But because I’m a child of the Universe
With stars running through my veins
And a beating cosmic heart lives inside of me
A testament
To the unconditional love

That I am


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The sting of Shadow Sisterhood

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She strikes at me

With her knife

Hot with the sting

Of shadow sisterhood

 

I thank her for the initiation

Feeling disgust ripple up

Knowing I must soften

The journey is to find compassion

 

You, who offer me hatred

Become, ironically

One of my biggest teachers

Of forgiveness


Alchemizing the Shadow Masculine into Sacred Masculine

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In my pot of alchemy

Theres lives the shadow masculine

Afraid of him

I've been

 

Yet I stir the pot

With my purple spoon

Of transmutation

And root deep into my love

 

 

And through golden light

Emerges the sacred masculine

The one who I've been longing for

He's so lovely

 

And he's here

In my own being

In my own little pot

Of alchemy


Initiations Open Me Wide

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Initiations open me wide

Snowy mountains
And great pyramids
Ancient roads
And modern vistas

With these two feet I walk
Feeling the energy of life pulse through
Opening all the places
I've been saying 'No'

And in this awareness
I feel there's so much more to go

My prayer rings out

Release all the parts of me
That cling to pain

I'm ready to dance the dance
And find immense pleasure
In the pouring rain

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