Goddess

What an Ayahuasca ceremony showed me...

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Last fall in an Ayahuasca ceremony, I saw a vision of myself in Junior High School sitting in a hard desk. I was looking at the scene from above, as the plant was showing me just how traumatic my years in school had actually been. 

I long thought that I didn't have much trauma in this lifetime, compared to the stories of others that were deeply painful and potent. 

But as I gazed at myself as a pre-teen, sitting in a hard chair, in front of a straight desk, in a fluorescent lit room for 7 hours day, I could now feel my soul crying. 

I could feel my inner child asking "Why don't you love me?" to all the 'authority' figures who made her do that. She wanted to be free, to go out and play, to be with nature, to sing... And yet, day after day she sat in this chair, going home not to do any of those other things, but to work on her homework on a lined sheet of rectangular paper, inside.

In no way am I comparing this experience to the traumas of others, trying to make them the same - Im simply sharing what I saw and felt in this ceremony.

I then felt how years of sitting in these hard seats,
in these rectangular spaces, impacted my body. I could feel the pain of the rigidity still in my spine and muscles, experienced in my daily life as back pain and aches. 

And so all of that suppression created layers. 

All those years where I was chained to the system, controlled by expectations of others, built up. When I felt pain or anger or sadness or even joy, I didnt get up from my desk and scream, or cry, or dance, or sing. I sat. Quietly. Like a good girl. Because that's what I was trained to do. 

When we're children, we're free. We let our emotions move through us. Whenever we watch children, we see this. They scream, they cry, they dance, they laugh 'til their bellies hurt, they run around like little hooligans - they do what they want, when they want. And by and large - they're incredible happy, healthy, joyful little beings, because of it. Things don't get lodged in their system. 

But as we age, and society starts to take it's toll, we become bogged down by energetic layers. Stuck energy. We don't cry at the office when we feel a surge of sadness. We grab a cookie and go on YouTube to numb. We don't break out in song when we feel creative, when we're walking down the street. We keep walking in a straight line, on straight pavement, until we get to where we're going. 

And so we experience the effects of all this suppressed emotion. Like crusted sludge, lodged deep within our system, these layers block our ability to feel our natural luminous light. 

We wonder why we can often feel depressed, anxious, sick, fearful, or unclear about our life purpose. It's because of these dense layers that are blocking the natural flow of our life force. 

In order to release these layers, we need to think and get outside of the box, literally. 

Maybe you go to yoga classes, and get a green juice at your local vegan cafe. Maybe you take herbs for anxiety relief, or meditate 10 minutes most days. And yet you still can experience deep fear, anxiety, and a feeling of being 'stuck'. 

Why aren't these practices 'working'? 


These practices are great. They are helpful. But they are still 'inside the box'. When you go to a yoga class, you are still doing what the instructor tells you. Your body may want to scream and break down into a primal dance halfway through class. But you don't. You breathe through warrior 2 like you're supposed to. 

The green juice and herbs are great, they're supportive. The meditation practice is very helpful.

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But we need to engage with pure, primal, electric, divine MOTION and unrestrained flow, if we're going to release these crusted up layers. Remember, they got there through expectation, and suppression. They need wild movement in order to dislodge. 

Earlier today, I was feeling fear and stuckness. Im on my moon time, and a lot of sludge was coming up. At first I was trying to just breathe through it, then I went onto Youtube to turn off my mind, so to speak.

I then checked my email and found a water ritual from my friend Dakota Chanel had been sent to me.

I felt the resonance immediately and went outside to dance with water, to sing my prayers, to get primal with my movements, and to summon the elemental power of water to MOVE my crusted energy of fear. It took about an hour, and after the ceremony, I felt such RELEASE!

I let my primal self take over,
and allowed divine frequency to move through me and move what needed to move.

These Priestess practices have been tantamount to my journey. I experience the power of ritual and movement in 2 ways: 

  • During ceremony where I am more still, but being lead through a meditation and working with rarified frequency like the violet flame, or Mother Earth's energies from her core crystal. There is a lot of movement happening on the inner realms in this way, as I allow pure frequency to do the work. 

  • Or, through unrestrained movement, through the body, or the voice. Through primal dancing, vocal toning, working with the elements, singing my prayers, or being silly and carefree like a child, I let that old crusted energy move. 


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The story behind my snake tattoo...

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I often get compliments and questions about my tattoo, the serpent coiled around my left arm, with roses and a lotus. ☥

"What does it mean?" - people ask. I rarely answer with the whole story, actually I don't think I ever have. Most of the time I simply say, "It represents my spiritual path."

Today I'd actually like to explain my tattoo, and how it came about. 

Several years ago, I was dancing at a really amazing party with a really amazing DJ, and was in a very expanded state. As I danced, I literally felt a symbol, a frequency - a packet of information, if you will - drop from the sky, and download into my body through my crown chakra. 

It was a tattoo of a snake, wrapped around my upper left arm. I knew I was to get it marked on me. 

Honestly, I cant remember if in that moment I knew the symbolism of the design, and how it connected to the Ancient Egyptian Goddess Isis. I just knew it was to happen. 

Now I know, that the ancient Priestesses of Isis, who could be found through Ancient Egypt, Greece, Palestine, Israel, Turkey, France, and far beyond - wore golden serpent armbands to signify their initiate statuses in the Ancient Mystery Schools of Isis (+ Hathor). 

You can find these ancient armbands throughout museums. I was lucky enough to see many in the Egyptian section of the Athens museum, and had a lot of remembrance come through in those moments. 

It would be years from the moment I downloaded the snake, to when I finally got it tattoed around my arm. 

I knew that getting the tattoo was a big commitment. And an honour. I didn't take it lightly. I knew when I got it, I would be initiated more deeply into my Priestess path, and into Snake medicine. And I was right. I got it 2 days before I hopped on a plane and flew to Peru, to sit with Ayahuasca, and to then wonder through ancient temples throughout the Andes. 

The roses in my tattoo connect to the Magdalene, and the ancient order of the Sisterhood of the Rose. The Magdalenes are Priestesses of Isis. 

Isis is an Ascended Master mentor. As Priestesses of Isis, we don't worship her. We embody the frequencies that she is a cosmic mother to. We learn sacred Priestess arts through her. We act as midwives through the veils, with her as a teacher and friend.

Isis hails to Earth from the star cluster, Sirius. The blue star in the sky, the brightest one. 

Her frequency weaved through Ancient Atlantis, seeding orders and Mystery Schools there, before moving on to Ancient Egypt after Atlantis was 'destroyed'. 

Isis ushered Egypt into a Golden Age, where it's citizens knew themselves as sovereign and unlimited. 

After Isis ascended, Mystery Schools still flourished with her teachings. 

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Isis is an emanation of Sophia, Mother Father God, Creatrix of all life. Again, Isis was never worshipped in these Mystery Schools. 

The initiate was seen as a powerful soul in her or his own right, and was training to embody their Higher Selves in human form, thereby accessing multi-dimensional powers and awareness. 

The path of the initiate was rigorous, yet profoundly rewarding. The Priestesses (and Priests) of the Ancient Mystery Schools were spiritual leaders, healers, and frequency holders. 

Then, as the cycle of time turned, Egypt began it's descent. People were lead astray. They forgot about their own inherent power, and Isis was deified. Rather than seen as an equal and a mentor, in the hearts of her people, she was thought of as a Goddess, an unattainable figure only royalty and highly trained initiates had access to. 

And after this long descent that spread through Egypt, and then, the whole world...

...The Priestesses of Isis have returned again. 

This time, to seed a new golden age. 

From our origins in Sirius and beyond, throughout our lifetimes in Atlantis, Ancient Egypt, and reaching into today, we are waking up to who we truly are. 

I feel an urgent, yet simultaneously patient and loving call from Isis: "Awaken sisters."

Even though it's tempting to spend our days numbing out, or distracting ourselves, because deep down we know our missions are so damn big, and we're not sure what to do about it... It's time to rise. 

Let us sit in ceremony. 
Let us enter the ancient halls of remembrance. 

Ancient Egypt did not die. 
It lives within us, 
In the inner temples. 

The ancient temples were always gateways to inner temples. 
They are still very much alive, inside of us.

It's time to access this. 
It's time to continue our mentorship with Isis. 

It's time. 

You are more than who you've yet remembered yourself to be. 

You are my Priestess sister. 

Ancient powerful one. 

And I witness the fire inside of you, 
That has come to heal.
Yourself first, 
And then, 
All beings. 

☥ May we remember. ☥


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My Unexpected Magdalene Pilgrimage...

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I didn’t intend to set out on a Magdalene pilgrimage. That summer, before I left, all I knew was I needed to get to Greece. I had booked a Priestress training with my mentor Eden in California, and intended to fly to Europe after that. 

Once I got to Europe, I began my travels through the south of Spain, and after a few weeks, finally landed in Greece. 

Greece was beyond anything I could have imagined. I fell so in love with the lands and waters… remembering them as home from other lifetimes. 

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But the wifi in Greece was not the best. I was trying to run my online based business, and had run into difficulties with the internet in both Spain and Greece. When I searched for help, few people could understand my need for fast wifi, and I started researching. I wanted to find a space where I could commune with other entrepreneurs, who lived a similar lifestyle as I did. I needed fast wifi to do live videos and ceremonies. 

And that’s when I found Dahab, Egypt. 

So, funnily enough, it wasn’t the temples or the pyramids that brought me to Egypt (consciously anyway…), it was a co-working space, set on the shores of the Red Sea. It promised fast wi-fi, a community of entrepreneurs, and views of the sea from our desks. Dahab was an ancient outpost of the Bedouin tribes, and was now attracting a lot of free spirits to experience it’s snorkeling, scuba diving, and laid-back energy. I was in!

My last stop in Greece, before I flew to Egypt, was Delphi - an ancient mecca of Priestess consciousness, and the spiritual centre of Ancient Greece. 

As I sat there in Delphi, activated and full of remembrance of ancient times, I waited for the very modern bus to take me to the airport in Athens. As I sat at the bus stop, I couldn’t believe it. Previously, I had no plans to visit Egypt on this trip. But here I was, mere hours away from returning to the Middle East, a place I’d lived as a child, and a place I remembered deep in my bones from lives past. 

As I landed in Egypt, the Middle East radiated through me. From the moment I arrived, everything was potent. It was challenging to be there. There was so much energy moving through me, so much activation. It felt really intense. It was also strange and sad to remember the magic of the ancient times, juxtaposed with the profound Patriarchal culture that had woven it’s way through the deserts and mountains. 

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While in Dahab, I had no plans to leave. I thought I was simply there to work on a project, and soak up the Middle East. I thought the pyramids and the temples would be for another trip. In some ways, I didn’t feel ready. 

But then… 

I watched a video of a spiritual teacher I follow. It was from years ago, but in it, she was standing in front of the pyramids, describing the frequency, and the power of the structures.

I felt it. 
I knew it. 
I had to go. 

Within 24 hours I was on a night bus to Cairo. 

And that’s when my Magdalene Pilgrimage began. 

I went alone, as I often do. 

I sat on the bus for 8 hours, crossing many gateways with guards carrying machine guns. 

Coming into Cairo was one of the strangest experiences of my life. Groggy from an overnight bus, I looked out the windows to see the lands come into view, in the morning light. 

Sand, dust, grey, beige, everywhere. And then - Cairo. Derelict buildings stood, in the same desert colours, washed out by sand. But these buildings were still inhabited. The levels of poverty I witnessed were profound. 

The city had a sort of chaotic desert madness to it. I’ve been a lot of places. I’ve traveled to South Africa on my own, Asia, South America, Central America, Australia, Europe, the States… and I’ve never experienced culture shock like I did when I got to Cairo. I felt like I was in another world. 

I felt a mix of being extremely uncomfortable, and like I was on a supreme mission. Im a nature girl. The chaos of the city, and the lack of any green life overwhelmed me, coupled with the fact that I was in a very conservative place as a solo female. 

And yet, I felt a sense of rightness. A magnetic pull to be in the frequency of the pyramids. 

Once I got off the bus, my Airbnb host picked me up, and took me to my apartment for the next 3 days. 

And that’s when I first saw the pyramids. 

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Nothing can really prepare you for seeing the pyramids. Especially if you’ve always felt a connection with Ancient Egypt. 

My apartment looked over a golf course right under the pyramids, and for 3 days, I had a very close, direct view, of them. 

Jeshua and Mary Magdalene were initiated in the Great Pyramid
, as well as many other initiates of Isis and other sacred orders. They carry a frequency that goes well past the 3rd dimensional reality we can see. 

And quite frankly, they activated the shit out of me. 

… To be continued. 


In part 2 and 3 of my Magdalene Pilgrimage adventures I will continue my journey through Egypt, and then through Israel and the South of France. 


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I used to have mild depression…this is how i healed it

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I used to have mild depression. For years, I would go in and out of these very lethargic states. Some days I would lie in my bed for much of the day - feeling sad, feeling pain, or often-times, just feeling numb and unmotivated.

I remember, once when I was teaching at a retreat in Bali, I told the facilitators that I felt 'it' coming on again... the dark hole. I was scared to go in it. I was scared it would eat me and I wouldn't come out again for a long time.

And that was the last time I felt that way.

Because instead of eating me, I ate it. I ate the shadow spaces, I ate my pain, by surrendering to it, and letting it move through me.

Since that day, many years ago, I've not experienced depression. Sad days, tough weeks, yes - but if you've experienced depression, you know that this ever-pervading state is more than just a sad day, or a tough week.

I credit healing my depression to the teachings of the Dark Goddess.

The aspect of the Divine Feminine, who teaches us to allow our pain, anger, and intense feelings, without judgement.

Often in spiritual circles, we are guided to "think positively" non-stop.

Many of us are starting to figure out that this can actually do more harm than good - as if we're suppressing our deeper emotions, we end up in a constant state of resistance - which actually worsens the depression and causes us to have big mood swings.

We will be working closely with the Dark Goddess and Her teachings, in my free journey - Walking as Priestess. {Sign up for that below}

This is a 5 day free deep dive with Kali, Isis + Mary Magdalene, and will help you get to know the Goddess in all Her aspects - helping you to embrace all of your emotions so you can integrate more of your power + brilliance into your life!

Why I cried in the Louvre in Paris...

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I walked into the Louvre with one single intent: to visit the Ancient Egyptian collection. As I passed through the famed glass pyramid and descended into the matrix that is the museum, I marveled at the sheer breadth of this storehouse of antiquities. 

Walking through collection after collection, I did not stop until I reached the green sign that let me know that I’d found my intended location: The home of Ancient Egyptian Antiquities. 

My eyes immediately found the eye of Horus, painted and shaped with turquoise and black. I meandered then into the next room, which housed ancient sarcophagi - most painted with Isis, the Ancient Egyptian Mother Goddess who lives still, in and through, so many of us. 

As I gazed into the images painted on the ancient wood, I felt my heart connect with the Ancients. A well of emotion rose within me and I started crying, quickly wrapping my pink scarf around my head to give me a bit of privacy, as fellow museum-goers moved all around me. In the well of emotion, I knew something to be true - I missed Egypt. What Egypt was. I desperately missed life among my Priestesses and brothers of Isis and Hathor, Osiris and Horus. My heart broke open, until I was reminded of something Mary Magdalane told me etherically while in her Grotto in Southern France, “don’t long for the past, the present houses what you truly desire and need”. 

I breathed in and continued to walk around the room. Again I stared at another image of Isis, and was met by a wave of remembrance. This time, the remembrance showed me hatred I still carried in my being, which still deeply affected me to this day. It is hard to admit, but I hated my sisters in that moment. Not all of them. But I remembered the dissolving of the sanctuaries we’d created, how some women chose to “sell out”, in the terminology we use today. How they paraded their positions of power or Priestessing to the Patriarchal elite, for safety, luxury, or more power, diminishing the true aspect of who we were as devotees to the Divine Feminine. Confusing the publics view of how to return home to the heart space, and convoluting everything we had worked for. 

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Again, I started crying, as I am now as I type this. I felt where I had stored this hatred, deep in my root chakra. I felt how this comes up in my life as Im wary of fellow sisters, especially those in a position of leadership, as I now understood on deeper levels, I subconsciously question the integrity of many whom I meet. 

I also noticed the way I judge this pattern in me. Part of me enacting the fear, and part of me judging it, because that’s not the way I’m supposed to relate to my fellow women. 

All of this came up and I wept, but after I left the Louvre, I knew something had been cleared. I remembered more of myself. And I know that something was lifted yesterday. I know I’ll continue to see remnants of this pattern come up in my life - mistrust in powerful sisters - but now I can have more compassion for this shadow side, because I know it’s not from a place of malevolence. Deep down, it’s from a desire for clarity, and integrity. And in compassion for my shadow, I can heal it. 

Blessings be to all beings, and may we open to the true codes of remembrance that are offered to us, everyday.


Mary Magdalane + Our Sacred Sexuality...

Who is Mary Magdalene? ... Was she a prostitute, who simply followed Jesus + the Apostles... or perhaps... was she the Tantric lover of Jesus, a High Initiate in the Isis Mystery School Lineage, and a profound Spiritual Teacher in her own right? Watch below to learn more:

 

To keep the conversation flowing, join our Private FB Group, Sisterhood of the Mermaid Moon, here. 


On judging my sisters...

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I’m in the South of France right now, and have been calling on Mary Magdalene’s energy a lot. Her energy is strong here, as these are the lands she landed on after fleeing her Middle Eastern homelands, after the death of her Beloved, Jesus.

When I was in the bath the other night, I called on her presence and felt her energy with me. She asked me to open up to my sisters even more, to have less judgement for them, and to go deeper into healing the wounds of separation between us.

For a mili-second, I wanted another message, as I do love receiving guidance that’s, well.. not pointing out things I need to work on. But then I got over it and realized, she was very right, and in that moment I chose to come into my next level of opening.

You see… I’m too harsh with my sisters, I’ll admit it, mostly online. This shows up when I see fellow coaches, I’ll come up with reasons why their work isn’t as authentic as mine, or I’ll point out energy I can feel in their field that isn’t as resonant with love as it could be. 

But guess what. That’s me, and that’s my own insecurities talking. Big time. Underneath the judgement lies that sneaky little fear that says I’m not good enough. And sometimes when other people shine, that part of me feels threatened. That fear likes to come up in a big haughty voice, overcompensating - and declaring she’s ‘better’ than other people, more authentic, more real…. Funny how that works. Believe me I’m cringing a bit as I write this. My truth knows a much different story, but I’m being honest. These are the things that still play out inside of me.

So right here, right now, I declare to step it up. 

I choose to open to my sisters more deeply, and in the last few days, I’ve been catching myself when I veer into judgment. Most of the time, I find I’m in judgement when someone is actually really badass and doing great things. So I’ve been practicing going into the energy of celebrating. Celebrating that sister for what’s she’s putting out there, and her energy. And I can tell you, it feels ALOT better, a lot lighter. When I judge, I create a problem inside of myself.. friction. The moment I veer into celebration instead, that ‘problem’ goes away, and all is well. 

This is the path. I won’t be perfect at this, but everyday I’ll do better. Because the truth is that every woman, and even every man and child, is a badass, amazing soul. And it’s my job to see that. Each and every day. 


Healing the Sting of the Shadow Feminine {Free Ceremony}

 

We've all felt it.

The sting of the shadow feminine.

Whether that was growing up and sensing gossiping voices talking about you, making you feel less than, or not lovable... Or whether you feel that today while you're on Social Media and you compare yourself to other women, labeling them as either "better than" or "worse than" you... I think as women, we all know what the wounds of Sisterhood feel like.

But here's the thing. Sisterhood, when it's in its truth, is so Divine - it's incredible. The feeling of love and support we feel from powerful and courageous women holding us can feel like a safe harbour, where anything is possible. A warm snuggly spot that both nurtures us, AND pushes us to grow into the beings we truly are.

But how do we get to this place?

I've seen alot about the virtues of Sisterhood online, and in the "spiritual community", so to speak.

And I love it, I love that Sisterhood is rising.

But what isn't talked about very much is our shadow, and our wounding, when it comes to Sisterhood.

In order to truly heal, and feel the very real benefits of sisterhood, we need to look at these wounds directly, and bring healing energy to them. These wounds have been in our collective psyches for thousands of years.

As second-class citizens, women have had to fight for resources, husbands, and more, sometimes just for their very survival. This has totally affected how we relate to one another.

It's time we heal, and I think we all feel it, to a certain extent.  But how, how to heal?

Well.. first off, healing the wounds of sisterhood is a journey. It won't happen overnight.

But as we each individually do the inner work necessary to find our self-worth + inner sister, MIRACLES happen.

Our vibration and embodiment of this healing ripples out energetically. We are able to support other women in ways we could not have before, and we are also able to let women in and be vulnerable as we heal our fears around intimacy.

This sets an example for the other women in our lives, and sparks a healing journey within them too!

And so, I wanted to offer a ceremony that we can all join in, to start to deeply heal the wounds of sisterhood.

This ceremony will be roughly an hour long, held on video, on Monday, May 8th at 3pm PST*. It will be live, and you'll be able to ask questions in real time, while communicating with fellow participants in the chat box, if you do make it live. {If you can't make it live, there will be a replay sent to you -- Sign up below}

We'll be working with Aphrodite and the spirit of the Dolphin to guide us in this deep exploration and healing.

Together we will discuss how the wounds of sisterhood affect us all, and we'll create a ritual around healing & dissolving these wounds together.

 

The result will be that you'll feel more connected to your sisters AND yourself, than perhaps ever before. You'll be able to lay down the weapons, and be more aware that all of us are just doing the best we can. You'll be less tempted to judge, and more open to love.

And this will spark a worldwide movement, that is already well underway!

XO BETH