The time since the lunar eclipse + blood moon for me (ie. the last 1.5 weeks) has been really eye opening for me.
I’m always learning, and I’m always growing, but I feel the last little bit has been full of more intense realizations, that I’d love to share with you.
From experiencing some rockiness in some of my relationships, to getting a fever that’s had me resting + sweating in bed for a few days - there have been moments that have challenged me.
But it’s been these moments that have forced me to slow down and ask the question: “What’s really going on here?” and as always - “How have I created this? What do I want to see + expereince instead?”
I truly believe that we are the co-creators of our reality, and what shows up in our lives, is simply a reflection of what’s going on internally.
Here are 2 aha moments I’ve had in the last week, that have really helped to open up some new pathways for me. I hope they will serve you too.
1) Hearing Wayne Dyer say “There are no justified resentments”
As I lay in bed and listening to yet another of Wayne’s PBS lectures (I’ve been loving them lately) - I had a big moment. As Wayne told the audience, including myself, that there were no justified resentments, I thought of all the people I was still holding anger or judgement towards. Even though I’ve been on a spiritual path for a number of years, and love has been my main goal, I still hold resentments - of course, I am human! But some of them, to me, were justified. “Well I’m bitter towards this person because she’s made it clear she doesn’t accept me or my choices.” - “I’m angry towards this person because I feel I’ve suffered energetic abuse from them.”
Well I have some news for myself - Get Over It. How do you think you are going to be the best lightworker you can be, if you’re still carrying judgment for your fellow brothers and sisters - who are really just trying to do their best?
My heart goes out to all of you who have suffered much worse abuse than I - whether that be physical, sexual, etc - what an intense idea. To forgive and to release resentment towards your abuser. But that is exactly what we are called to do.
As Wayne says - no body ever died from a snake bite. (What? You may be thinking, read on…) People die from the venom that seeps into their bloodstream AFTER the snake has bitten.
Ya dig? ;)
2) Hearing and Feeling Nisha Moodley talk about being with pain
Many of you, like me, are intrinsically drawn to being healers. We want to help, we want to hold, we want to love, we want to nurture, we want to listen, we want to heal.
This morning, I couldn’t sleep. It was about 5:30am and I had already gone through way too many Ellen videos. I synchronistically was guided to an interview between Nisha Moodley and Elayne Kalila Doughty - two incredible women that are walking the path of the priestess, the path of the Soul.
Nisha spoke of being with her pain. “How can I hold the space for others in their pain, if I can’t be with my own?” Fair point. And then she said something that really got to me. I’m paraphrasing, but still using quote marks. I hope that’s all good :D “If I can’t be with my own pain, then someone who is experiencing deep pain is going to be uncomfortable around me.”
Boom. How’s that for a truth bomb?
As lightworkers, we can have the tendency to sugar-coat things, because we wan’t it to be all good. But what if we learned that even in the dark places - it’s all good?
And so, this morning, in the dark hours, I lay with my pain.
My root chakra was really hurting and I felt so out of sorts, but I breathed into it, and surrendered to it… eventually falling into a sleep where I encountered both Nisha and Elayne in the dream land. Magical stuff this path is.
I’m not going to pretend that from this point on I’ll ALWAYS choose to be with my pain. Distractions are easy and everywhere. That youtube video. That joint. That thought pattern. Those conversations that don’t really have a point. Oh yeah. I go there. To all of those places.
But it’s about progress, not perfection. I know that if I can choose to BE WITH my pain a little more frequently, a little more regularly, with a little more surrender, I’ll make great strides.
Because at this point on my path, I’ve realized that when we can BE WITH something like pain, it dissolves and reveals the greater wisdom beneath. By being with it, and breathing into it, step by step, we are releasing the chains, and opening up to freedom - the freedom of not being scared of our darkness.
Aiight my dears, I’ll leave you with that.
May you have the best day ever, and please feel free to share YOUR a-ha moments from the week!
I’d love to hear them.