My heart was feeling a bit woozy. My mind was doubting whether I was doing the right thing, or if this time, it was simply “too much”.
I was just about to press “post” on a very vulnerable and real story for me… one that had only happened a couple of weeks ago. Usually when I post my stories, I’m confident and know I’m doing the right thing. This time, I think the pain was so fresh, and the subject matter so personal, that I had a moment of doubt.
But then my intuition came in and said “Get over it girl, you know this is well-meaning” and I hit ‘Post’!
I had just written a story of a recent heartbreak in Mexico, and I didn’t spare the details. (Well maybe I spared the super sexy details, but that’s besides the point haha)
I shared that story because I had some really big AHA moments that had come from that experience, that I knew could honestly benefit a lot of people. Not only that, but writing is a form of cathartic release for me, and this story was simply bubbling up in me to be told.
Over the next few days, hundreds of comments and messages poured in from women (and some men!) all over the world, that had real moments of awakening upon reading that post. Some women shared they cried, or said that they’d rarely experienced a piece of writing that “got to them” so deeply. I was really moved by those comments. I felt the camaraderie with my sisters, with my tribe, with the collective wounds around the Sacred Masculine - and I felt a deep understanding that sharing my stories is truly a beautiful thing.
The night I posted that story, I had a hit that I wanted to share some tips on how to share vulnerably online. Whether you’re a closeted writer that longs to communicate and express yourself, or a healer who yearns to awaken others through your own stories, there’s lots of reasons to express yourself vulnerably online. One of them also being that in this shiny perfect Instagram obsessed world… realness is hard to come by. Yet that kind of raw authenticity is exactly what’s going to heal this planet, because it brings us a sense of togetherness and tribe that nothing but honesty + authenticity can bring to the table.
So if you want to join me on this mission of authentic sharing, here are my top 10 tips for doing so!
MY TOP 10 TIPS FOR GETTING VULNERABLE ONLINE
1. Share what feels real & present.
Speak about what feels pertinent and potent in the moment. Don’t go back to an experience you had that no longer brings up any feeling in you, and share that story. We want to FEEL you, we want to go on a JOURNEY with you. So come from a place of feeling. Ask yourself… “What’s real to me right now? What’s present for me? What’s on my heart?” —- And allow yourself to get into that place, and channel the messages that are coming from there.
You’ll know if you hit the sweet spot, if you are moved or have a reaction to what you write, when you go back to read it.
2. Get personal
Sharing vulnerably online is not for the faint of heart. But if you're reading this, you are probably the kind of person that is ready for the plunge.
So I ask.. get personal, and specific. I've read a lot of stories online when the person alludes they're about to get really real.. but then they brush over the actual content of the story that riled them up. For example, they say something like “And then this experience with a lover happened that made me feel ‘less than’ ”, and they move on from there and share their lessons, with little content in the actual story that triggered those lessons.
GIRL, {or BOY… if that’s the case} —- I WANT TO KNOW THE DIRT. Now again, this kind of sharing is NOT for everyone. But if I’m going to relate to you, and if you’re going to really awaken some stuff in me... please be transparent. What happened? Share the specifics of your story. I might have been there too. I might BE there. But I don't know, if you get all general and scared to dish the truth.
Bring us through your story like a fiction book, set the scene, the way it made you feel, the colour of the sky when you walked out of the house... whatever details you feel inspired by. Weave the web. Make us feel like we’re there with you. Get us, the readers, INVOLVED.
Please, of course WITH REGARD for those involved. Do not use names, and if in your story it is obvious who you are talking about, even if no names were used, please get the permission of that person first, before you press send.
3) Own your story first, teach later.
A post that comes from a place of first person storytelling is much more likely to resonate with your audience, than a vanilla statement of what you learned.
For example, let’s go back to my story about heartbreak. I learned a lot about my connection with the Sacred Masculine.
But what if I instead of sharing that personal story (see number 2) — I simply wrote my lessons, with no backstory of where they came from.
Like:
“Girls, it’s so important to honour your inner masculine! Go within and feel into how you are honouring your inner masculine. Do you let him out, or no?
If you don’t honour your inner masculine, you may magnetize experiences with men that hurt or make you feel like you can’t trust them. ”
Is that message true? Yes… but it doesn’t hit me. I don’t feel from it. If the goal is to really resonate with your tribe, and to touch people and affect change, your personal stories are probably the way to go.
Now, to be real, I totally post quick notes and lessons, quotes, and things like that… but if I’m really looking to create a post that’s going to go deeper with people and stir the pot, again - stories are my go-to.
4) Keep it empowered
Sharing our stories is not about us having a pity-party online… I think you get that. We’re not sharing our stories to garner attention, validation, or to use our online tribe as our counsellor.
That’s what our journals are for.
If you’re in the thick of a challenging experience, and haven’t found the lesson, I would suggest continuing to journey through that experience until you can find something empowering and uplifting about it, to include in your message.
Now sometimes you might be having a rough time, have not learned the lesson yet, but still want to share it, to be transparent with your audience. I get that. The empowering message within this simply might be… “I hurt too, and this is my truth right now.”
You’ll be able to tell what the vibe of the post is by how you feel when you read it.
However, I find it really fun to share experiences where I learned a lesson and I can articulate that lesson afterwards, towards the end of the post. Kind of like taking your reader on a heroines journey, and have them go through the challenges and come out the other side with some gold, even if that gold is simply more self-love, and or a shifted perspective.
Bottom line: Leave your readers with a sense of empowerment, rather than having them confused about what your actual point is.
5) Honour that some people just won’t get it
The online world is a crazy place. You’ve got to be prepared for feedback of all kinds. Most of the comments and messages I get from my stories are really powerful, positive, and introspective on the readers part. Often our stories spark meaningful dialogue that feels really good to be a part of.
But inevitably, there’s going to be some people who just don’t get it. Maybe your story sparked their ego, because it reminds them of themselves, and they’re not ready to face those demons yet.
Maybe they misunderstood your post, and think you’re saying something you’re not.
Maybe they’re just a big meanie. I don’t know. But sometimes you’re going to get comments that aren’t so nice.
Honour that, as a part of your journey to sovereignty, and as help in letting go of giving a fuck what people think.
Personally when I get negative comments, I still get upset, even if it’s just for 20 seconds. Again, this is a great opportunity for me to see where I’m still looking for validation from other people.
My advice? Don’t feed the fire. Ignore the haters. HATAS GONNA HATE. Just keep spreading the love, and shift your focus to how awesome you are, and how great your heart is.
6) Share a raw photo
I’ve seen some really beautiful and heartfelt sharings, accompanied by generic photos, or of paintings that are not by the writer. This creates a bit of separation, between the personal, vulnerable nature of your post, and the first impression people get of it - the picture!
I’d recommend a raw / real photo of yourself, or of something connected to the story to accompany your posts. I love high quality pictures - as in, photos with good resolution - however if that’s not available to you, that’s fine.
Keep in mind people are going to be reading YOUR words, so if you have a photo with your eyes, embodying an emotion that relates to the story, that’s going to connect with people more deeply. We’re hardwired for connection through eye contact! This picture is going to draw people in to read your story.
7) Keep some things for yourself
This is probably obvious, but you don’t need to share every single one of your vulnerable stories online. Keep what feels private, or even unhealed, to yourself or your close friends or family.
8) Share it!
You just poured a bit of your soul into a piece of writing, with the intention to serve both yourself, and your tribe. So honour that delicious effort you just went through, and make sure to share that story where your target audience can see it!
I don’t just share my stories on my FB page and Instagram, I also post them on my blog, send them out to my email list AND I post them to different FB groups I’m apart of, who I feel would resonate or be served by the message.
This may push you past your comfort zone..but ahhh fuck it. That’s where all the juice lives anyhow.
9) Don’t censor yourself
Notice how I just dropped an f-bomb? Yeah.. that’s because that’s how I speak, and that’s what just came through naturally. (My Mom hates it however, but guess what, she can share her own stories her way! Teehee. Love you Mom! ;))
Remember - this isn’t English class. You get to speak however you want to speak. If you want to swear, use slang, include smileys, make breaks in your writing, tell jokes —- have at ‘er! Show your personality! It’s all you baby!
And remember, the spirit of sharing your vulnerability is just that —- getting real, raw, and uncensored. Claim your truth! And if people get offended, refer to number 5.
10) Honour your intuition above all
And of course, last but not least, throw any of my tips out the window if your intuition tells you something different. Your inner guidance trumps all!
Lastly, I wanted to mention some reasons why you might benefit from sharing your stories online:
- You'll be creating authentic connections, both on and offline
- You'll be serving people, and helping other people who might need to feel like they're not alone
- You'll attract clients to you, you can really help, if you're an entrepreneur who offers your healing gifts out into the world - they'll be able to know you, and trust you, because you're showing up in a very real way. People work with those who they trust and feel safe with. You'll also have shown that you've gone through what they might be going through, and have wisdom to share with them.
- You'll feel the inspired movement of energy & creativity flow through your being as you share what's real
So there you have it folks, 10 tips for getting vulnerable online. I hope this served you!
xo Beth