Entering the pit of my own longing...

For years I have been aware of a longing so strong, that it surpasses words or explanation. A man triggered this in me, and for so long, I was certain that it was this particular man I longed for.

Thankfully he did not give me what I thought I wanted, and recently after a year of largely ignoring the situation, I have come to look at it head on and ask what is truly needed here.

And as such, I have been asked to deep dive into the pit of my own longing.

My longing is for my inner beloved, it is for the throws of ecstatic bliss and alchemical magic that comes from inner union, when the Masculine and Feminine truly align, harmonize, and surrender into one another to become a sacred third... Union.

My ego mind resisted this truth for a long time. It is so much easier to long for someone outside of ourselves, and numb the pain of not getting it... Than to quest within and to honour that what we crave occurs on the inner planes.

The ego hates the answer that what we are looking for is within. it likes tangible. It likes a chase. And it likes drama.

I've had recurring dreams where I pursue a beloved for years now, and he is never available, always outside of my reach.

What I now see clearly is these dreams have been showing me that I have been carrying a story of being unworthy, of not being enough, of not meeting the mark in some way.

These stories have manifested in my external life in repeated rejection from the men that I truly love + see.

This rejection has forced me to own my own stories, and let them go.

What appears to be poison on the outside, is medicine on the inside, if we're willing to take the plunge.

I choose to step into the deep darkness of my own consciousness and claim my worthiness so I can meet and unify with my Inner Beloved.

He lives within me. This is the practice of the Ancient Mystery Schools of Ancient Egypt. To unify the polarities within us, and embody ecstatic sacred inner union.

Those who have activated this inner union radiate a power and presence that is hard to ignore.

And it is this sacred inner union that magnetizes a beloved in the physical realms that can meet our truest, deepest, darkest, lightest, and fullest wishes.

To the path...

I walk not for the outcome on the material plane...

But for the glory of that which resides on the inner...

To truth. 

---

Did you resonate with this post?

Here are some ways we can connect more deeply…

🐬 Download 3 free Dolphin Rose guided meditations, that I’ve created for you!

In these journeys, we’ll meditate with the dolphins and angels! First, you’ll activate your Pleiadian and Sirian starseed DNA, with the dolphins. Then, you’ll receive a healing from the Divine Feminine Archangels. And in the 3rd meditation, you’ll receive a powerful activation from the Blue Ray and Archangel Michael!

🐬 Join our Facebook group ~ The Dolphin Rose Temple!

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Alchemizing the Shadow Masculine into Sacred Masculine

In my pot of alchemy

Theres lives the shadow masculine

Afraid of him

I've been

Yet I stir the pot

With my purple spoon

Of transmutation

And root deep into my love

And through golden light

Emerges the sacred masculine

The one who I've been longing for

He's so lovely

And he's here

In my own being

In my own little pot

Of alchemy

---

The King Lives Within

And there it is

The part of me

That can feel your lips

On mine

Tantalizing me

Of a future

I cannot yet see

But there in that moment

I have a choice

To put my energy outward

And search in longing

Or to call upon my warrior within

Proud brave and true

He lives inside me

Just like you

I call upon him to merge

With my feminine essence

Knowing I am male and female

And as I bring him in

Call him out

He teaches me

I don't need you

I want you

But I don't need you

There is a difference

Oh my dear

There is

A big

Difference

And so I will play

Getting to know the man within

For he'll always be with me

He is my true King

He embodies all

All the masculinity there is

And you

Are a function

Of Him

Not to diminish you

For your light is true

But to claim you as King

Would not be real

For the King and the Queen

Already live

Happily in my heart

It is I who must feed them

And make sure

They're never apart

Merging the Divine Feminine with the Sacred Masculine...

"Did you know our birthday is in the exact middle of the year? There are the same number of days on both sides of our birthday.", he told me, as I'd recently just found a 'birthday buddy', someone born on the same day as me - July 2nd.

"Oh really? Wow!" - And a intuitive hit instantly pulsed through me "That's because I'm meant to merge the Feminine and the Masculine as a soul purpose in this lifetime.

I noticed the intuitive imprint, knowing I was still unfamiliar with exactly what that voice meant. 

Over the next few years, I would begin to unravel what I was told... 

To merge the Divine Feminine and the Sacred Masculine, to unite the Magdalene with Christ, Isis with Osiris, is a sacred path for many of us, maybe even all of us, who are reading this.

This is what is needed for balance and peace on earth to emerge.

In order to activate this balance and peace on Earth, we need to balance and integrate the Feminine and Masculine within ourselves. 

This is a powerful and challenging path. In particular, for me, the invitation to forgive the shadow masculine for his abuses, and honour the masculine as sacred, has been a particularly powerful ask for me. 

Every day though, I am moving into more and more forgiveness, and more and more integration. 

When we integrate these aspects within ourselves, many things can happen. We no longer end up in co-dependent or toxic partnerships, asking for the other to feed an inner need. We start to find success and momentum in the world, on our chosen paths, because our energy of receptivity, is paired with the energy of follow through an action. And we end up finding a deep sense of sexuality within ourselves, as we start to embody this sacred union within. <3

If you are called to start merging your feminine and masculine energies, but don't know how to do so, I would recommend offering a prayer, and intention to the Universe. Something like "Spirit, my intention is to embody the union of the Sacred Masculine and Divine Feminine. Show me how to do this. I am ready to open to forgiveness, healing, and cleansing, so I can honour this sacred union within. Show me the way."

You can also practice calling on Magdalene and Christ, to be with you through the day, guiding you. 

---

Did you resonate with this post?

Here are some ways we can connect more deeply…

🐬 Download 3 free Dolphin Rose guided meditations, that I’ve created for you!

In these journeys, we’ll meditate with the dolphins and angels! First, you’ll activate your Pleiadian and Sirian starseed DNA, with the dolphins. Then, you’ll receive a healing from the Divine Feminine Archangels. And in the 3rd meditation, you’ll receive a powerful activation from the Blue Ray and Archangel Michael!

🐬 Join our Facebook group ~ The Dolphin Rose Temple!

🐬 Follow me on Instagram! @the.dolphin.rose.temple

I got my heart broken in Mexico. And for that, I'm grateful

It was about 7 weeks into my trip to Mexico. I had seen some amazing things, and met some wonderful people, and was sitting in a water-front restaurant, waiting for my meal.

That’s when he walked in.

We made eye contact, he turned to face the bar, and I literally mouthed “WOW!” because he was so beautiful, and his eyes were so kind.

Now when I see beautiful men I do either one of two things. Stare at them, not talk to them, and keep this mysterious broody vibe that doesn’t get me anywhere. Or I just go up and say hello. Mostly it’s number 1. That day, it was number 2.

I started a conversation with him, after asking him if he spoke English. “A little bit”, he replied. My intuition popped in, and told me to ask him about sailing, as I was wanting to on a sailing adventure around the turquoise lagoon I was staying on.

“Do you do sailing tours?” I asked.

“Yes!” He replied.

Good one intuition.

We arranged to go sailing later that day. Once a couple hours had passed, we met up. He was wearing just his board shorts and a hat, and it was like my body melted when I saw him. Not only that, but we had an amazing soul connection. Even though his English wasn’t that great, conversation flowed easily, and he laughed at all of my jokes, which is great, cause some people really just don’t get them haha. :)

About 10 minutes into talking, while he grabbed a beer before we went for our sail, he told me that he lived about 15 minutes away, in the jungle. He said there was a campground there, but not much else. He then, in typical direct latino style, looked me straight in the eyes and said “That’s where you can stay when you visit me.”

I was hooked.

Everything about him lit up my body like no one in a very long time had. The amber colour of his eyes made my heart open up really wide. He looked at me with pureness in his heart.

We spent a few hours sailing, swimming, and chatting. He kissed me. It was amazing. He asked me out for dinner. Of course, I said yes.

That night we went sailing again, under the Full Moon. We slept on his catamaran, and woke up to the sunrise over the crystal clear water, and birds singing their morning tunes.

He dropped me off at the docks near my Airbnb, and invited me to come to his house. We arranged that I would come to his little jungle palace the next day…

Different possibilities swirled around in my mind. I knew I just met someone that blew me out of the water. Everything about him was amazing. He was beyond sexy, kind, and a total nature lover who preferred to spend his time alone in the jungle. He talked about spiritual ceremonies, and how everything was one. I wondered how long we would end up spending together, as I planned to fly home 2 or 3 weeks later.

The next day, I packed my bags and showed up at his jungle house, which turned out to be this amazing, eco-house right on the water. We spent the next 3 days together, sailing, chatting, making food, loving each other up, and relaxing. I liked him so much… yet I have to be honest and say that something felt a little off. When I left, we agreed that I would come back and spend more time with him… I was on my way to Tulum to meet up with a friend, and to get some space from what had just happened, so I could get a better vibe of what this relationship meant for me. I told him I’d be gone for about a week, maybe more.

When I got to my next destination, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

I felt anxious throughout that week. I tried to call him, but never got an answer. He couldn’t call me back, because I just use Skype to call phones. He was out in the jungle with no wi-fi either, so even though I was frustrated, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I knew I was going back to see him.

A week passed, and I decided to go back to see him. The night before I left, a huge scorpion fell onto my bed in the middle of the night, but I didn’t get stung. I shared this on FB, and a friend and client wrote to me… “Sister, you’ve been blessed. For the Maya, when Scorpion visits and it doesn’t sting, it brings a powerful message. But in order to receive it, there must be a death.”

That morning, I headed back. I felt like I was walking through fire on that 3 hour bus ride. I was anxious, and didn’t know what to expect. I knew he really liked me, but I was wondering why I couldn’t get a hold of him. Why I felt so far from peace.

I showed up at his house, that evening.

No one was home. I walked in, and instantly saw a traveller’s backpack in the kitchen. I went over to it, and peeked inside, like a creep, but I didn’t care. I needed to know. Yep… a bikini top. A girl was staying there.

Right then, he walked up, solo… and looked a bit surprised to see me. His energy was different. After saying hello, I just asked him straight up… “Is there a girl staying here?”

“Yes” he said.

“OK, I guess I’ll go.”

“See you later?” He asked, implying that I would come back when this girl had finished staying with him.

“No.” I told him. “I’ve been thinking about you for a week, and you’re already with another girl.”

His face fell.

“Do you have 5 minutes to talk? I wanted to tell you some things.”

And I did. I wanted to tell him, I had a profound experience the day before. I saw that we had known each other in various lives, that our connection was big, was forever, but we weren’t meant to be long-term lovers. We were powerful soul friends. We were spiritual teachers who had come to this planet in our wholeness.

“No, we have to go sailing.” He said. And I knew he was nervous that if he took his time, the other girl might come up and wonder what he was doing. She was down at the dock. About to go sailing with him. Like we had for 4 days. Ouch.

I accepted what was going on, but I grabbed his hand, looked him in the eyes, and told him how special he was to me. I started crying a bit. I was so hurt. I thought I was going back to see this man and spend more time with his soul, snuggling up to him, and sharing my recent revelations.

But instead, I found myself saying a rushed goodbye, probably for the rest of our lives.

He looked sad too. But I left.
I left and I cried and I felt so sad.

He didn’t ever message me after that.

That was the last time I talked to him.

~~~~

This experience happened in the middle of Venus retrograde - the love planet's deepest descent into the underworld, and a notorious time for our old wounds to be dredged up to be healed.

And you know what... I’m so grateful for this man, and what happened.
I have so much love in my heart for him, and I know, in other dimensions I will see him again.

I’m grateful because I got shocked into seeing my patterns, in such a painful way that I couldn’t possibly ignore the message.

You see, this was not the first guy that “hurt me”. In the last 4 years that I’ve been single, I’ve unconsciously attracted man after man that was not available. Men that thought I was crazy for having such intense emotions, or for being spiritually connected to other realms and open about it. Men that denied me and rejected me, when at first they seemed enamored with me.

Why?

After the initial moments of despair and feelings of “not enoughness” started to wear off, I realized I had to get serious about healing with the Sacred Masculine.

I could not just say 15 minutes of affirmations every 2 weeks like “I honour the Sacred Masculine. Good men show up in my life and honour me” - and expect that all would be well and dandy.

I had some deep healing to do.

I honoured that at a subconscious level, men meant ‘hurt’ to me. Men were dangerous, associated with war, and a lack of emotional empathy. Of course if I had these subconscious programs, that was what was going to show up for me.
Not only that though. My big AHA came from realizing that I have been searching for the masculine outside of myself.

I took that 3 hour bus ride, not to shower that man with love, but to “get” from him. I wanted him to snuggle me and love me. I wanted to receive his masculine energy.

I realized that time after time, I’d been chasing masculine energy outside of myself.

Yes indeed, that masculine energy was delicious, but here’s the thing - it exists within me.

And for years and years, I’ve been suppressing my masculine energy, for reasons I can’t be fully sure of, but most likely because of my soul witnessing thousands of years of oppressive patriarchy, and me making the tie between men and patriarchy.

But the sacred masculine has nothing to do with patriarchy. He is a holy, sacred energy, that is incredible at grounding, holding space, commanding resources, and so much more.

Because of this experience, I got a huge download from the Universe, that it was time to honour my own masculine energy, and let it live within me.

If I suppress my masculine, and then look for it outside of myself - I will attract chaotic experiences with my lovers.

If I honour my masculine, root into both my feminine and masculine, and allow my ideal lover to magnetize towards my unified vibrations (ie. attract, rather than chase) - I will experience majestic vibrations of healthy LOVE.

So here I am.

On my journey to heal.

Through subconscious reprogramming, meditation, visualization, ceremony, and being aware of what my intentions are with men in any given moment, I am choosing to heal.

I am fully committed.

This process will take time and it will take work, because that is the nature of Earth School.
But I’m in. I choose to heal not just for myself, but for the collective. Because the re-union of the Feminine and the Masculine is the salve that will harmonize this planet.

And as I leave you with these words, I also want to ask you a few questions to get you reflecting on your own life, and how this relates to you:

1. When you tune into your subconscious, what comes up when you think of men? (Or women, if you are a man) —- Are they scary and violent? Loving and supportive? Anything in between?
2.  What kinds of relationships are you manifesting with men? What are these relationships mirroring to you?
3. Are you aware of any limiting beliefs around your connection with men? Are you willing to start to heal them?

In love and gratitude, thank you for witnessing my story!

xo Beth

Feeling Sexy + Sultry: Where is the Sacred Masculine?

So... recently, I've had some rather frustrating situations with men in my life.

While also mildly hilarious, overall, they have highlighted a deep desire within me to have the masculine 'Show Up' in my life, as I've become keenly aware of so many times I felt unsupported, or even disregarded, by the other sex.

Well I am happy to tell you I've just had a MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH, and I am super stoked to share! Who doesn't love breakthroughs?

Over the last few months, I have felt my desire for masculine energy in my life escalate.

And by masculine energy... let's just tell it like it is. My loins were on fire. Seriously ladies, I have never felt the desire for super awakening sex like I have since October. 

Prior to my long term relationship, I was in my teenage years. So a) Much of my sexual energy had been deeply unexplored b) When it rose up and wanted to be fed, it usually resulted in me going out to the bar, drinking with my girlfriends, and making out on the dance floor.

Being woken up, empowered, (and now mostly a non drinker), this time, needed to be quite different.

How would I navigate the landscape of sexuality with this new mindset? How could I honour and respect my primal needs and desires, while also honouring the whisperings of my heart, and the sensitivity that dwelled within me?

And why did all of this feel so goddam hard? 

Men just weren't showing up. Well they were, but they weren't actually if you get what I'm saying. 

They weren't communicating. They were giving mixed signals. They were reaching out, and then running away. They were dropping the ball. They weren't manning up.

And this really got to me, as so many of my prayers revolved around attracting that which fulfilled me. Satisfying sexual encounters that were both holy + sacred, unattached + yet fully united. Open + flowing. Uncontrolled + primal. Deep. Cosmic. Spiritual. An honouring of the sacred masculine and the divine feminine. 

But alas, this lady, try though she might, was not getting what she was looking for. Many I talked to said I was reaching for more than others could give. That this type of union simply didn't exist in this day and age. That men were men, and they were flakes. That if I wanted sex, fine, but don't expect it to mean anything. 

And so I waited, waited for something that made sense. Waited for an AHA moment, that would deliver me from confused and wanting, to powerful and honouring. 

Well, my dears, the AHA moment has arrived. 

After a frustrating situation yesterday, when again, I felt as though the masculine had dropped the ball, and not shown up (details spared, basis of the situation - shared) - I felt an undulating heat and disappointment for the masculine.

The feminine wounds within me writhed. It felt like I had arrived at an institution of higher learning, and I had prepared in depth - proud and excited of my work - ready to share, I showed up with all materials in hand, only to discover that it was a men's club, and they wouldn't take me seriously. 

Another way I saw it, this morning, was a battlefield. The powerful women warriors had shown up, but the army they were fighting was great. We needed the hundreds of males in the distance to come and help us. But they didn't. We were left alone, to fend for ourselves. 

So much of this is so abstract, so deeply personal, but hopefully you'll be able to sense the sensitive undercurrent running below. The feelings of being left behind, being unwanted, not received, not respected, by our counterparts. 

And then it hit me.

This morning, all of this turned hilarious. In between shouts of 'GODDAMIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MEN', I likewise, had bouts of mild histeria. I thought all of this was hilarious. I could truly step back and witness the situation, and through my comedic translation of said events, an enormous amount of clarity rushed through me. 

Through my own independence, my own wilfulness, and pride at being a woman, I had blocked out the masculine. Though I felt drawn to him, and wanted him in my life, I had been acting and thinking in a way of 'Don't need no man for no thang.'

But guess what. It dawned upon me, I actually DO need a man. 

And not just any man. 

MY man. 

My own inner man. My inner masculine. I had been so excited about channeling the Goddess, the beautiful, sensual creature of the female, that I had shunned my inner sacred masculine. 

It was in that moment that I felt both the deep craving for the masculine, and the unforgiveness I had harboured against him, both as an individual, and as a part of the collective female psyche.

Through my anger at how the unbalanced masculine has shown up in the world, I had failed to acknowledge the positive aspects of the him, that I both deeply needed, and deeply craved. 

So I did what I always do when I need help. I prayed.

I recited, over and over, my mantra of forgiveness for the masculine. I felt my deep attraction to him, and let it be OK. I prayed that my inner selves would be united, that my sacred masculine, and my divine feminine could forgive one another. That I could experience unity in the self. 

I realized that, for the last few months - not getting what I wanted and encountering men who were just not showing up - had everything to do with the separation of masculine + feminine within myself. 

After that, I called upon my masculine. 

I channeled his energy from up within me, and something magical happened. 

I felt safe, and protected. I felt like he had me. I felt his presence, calm and steady. All that delicious energy that men do so well, (you know, like being all sexy and strong, steady, and deeply rooted) was rising up within. And I felt turned on. By my own self! My own masculine!

Eureka!

All this "What you're looking for is in yourself" stuff is so not bullshit!

Excellent. 

So dear ones, I will work with this new insight. This understanding that my own masculine is delicious and true, and worthy, and I am so, so ready to forgive him. When we unite, then, and only then, will the sacred masculine truly be able to show up in my outer world as well.

He is what I need. He is what I want. 

And all of Him, is within me. 

---

May your sacred masculine + your divine feminine merge. And may they make delicious, sweet love, in your uncompromisingly deep soul.

xo Beth

Ps. Upon finishing this blog post, a man has shown up and sat at my booth at the coffee shop. HAHA. Shit's working already ;) :D

Pps. Another one just sat down. This is amazing. Inner masculine, you are the bomb.