One of the most important lessons I have learned is... When someone triggers me, irritates me, angers me... They are showing me a reflection of the pain that lives within... And if I am willing to show up for the assignment, I will thank them, instead of blame them, for showing me my unprocessed pain.
How many times have we wanted to cut people out of our lives because they anger or trigger us? (I am not talking about serious abuse here... Though that is a reflection too, but would need to be dealt with, with physical space from the person, yes)
How many times has the same pattern, the same energy- shown up in our lives again & again, even though we've cut the person who has triggered us - out of our lives?
You may find you keep repeating the same patterns with love interests.
You might find you keep attracting the same stories in your friendships, or in your career.
These patterns beg us to feel our pain. They show us the way- if were brave enough to pay attention.
They invite us to- instead of blaming someone, fully acknowledge self-responsibility for having this show up in our lives. We manifested it. We've perceived it that way.
This is not easy.
Self-responsibility is not encouraged in our culture.
But when we take the initiative... When we honour the pain we see in the external world as a reflection of the pain that lives in our individual and collective psyches... We now have the chance to heal it.
The obnoxious girl that always one ups you... Is a trigger to feel your unprocessed pain from childhood.. Having never felt truly seen or heard because your big sister always got the attention.
When that pain is felt.. Truly... and released... That girl's voice suddenly turns neutral... You actually start to find her funny + realize she's actually really rad.
And what's more... All those potential triggers that could have come your way.. Now no longer have a hold. You can open up to people. It feels good.
You have felt your pain.
You have transmuted it.
You have found your freedom.
This is deep work.
It will take courage.
And most people will never do it.
But you aren't most people.