The other day I wrote a post about honouring your triggers as medicine, and not blaming the other person for your anger… instead… turning and looking within for the source of your pain. Seeing what deep wound that person has just triggered.
I invited the reader to really feel that wound deeply, as a way to heal it.
Well… of course the Universe… (and on my priestess path, we call this aspect of the Universe, the Dark Goddess) - asked me to walk my talk, and do this process deeply for myself, yet again! At the end of that post the other day, I included a simple not. “For more of my writing + free trainings, head to www.bethkatherine.com)
This was an invitation for anyone who resonated with that content to go deeper into that vibration. I am on a mission to awaken the priestesses and the elementals to their true nature, and I’ve created many free offerings, and from-the-soul writings, that I feel, will serve to help that transformation and awakening come about. <3
Today, I received 2 messages from 2 different moderators of the groups. Their request - “Stop putting your website at the bottom of the posts”
You can only share in a certain way, basically, no website, no invitation to go deeper.
The unfortunate (and fortunate) thing is — is that as a result of me offering a very simple and small invitation at the bottom of that post, for those who resonated, I had dozens and dozens of women show up in my inbox, my email, and in my private FB group - thanking me for my words and my message, and expressing they were very much looking forward to going deeper.
If I wouldn’t have posted my website, they would not have found the way to enter into this vibration more deeply. (A vibration they chose, and stated that worked for them)
As I received these messages… I was angry, I was triggered.
I started writing a post about it, but thank fully, something happened and I was navigated off the page, and my post was deleted.
The post that I was writing had not yet come from the space of self-responsibility that I am asking both myself, and others to step into.
The Universe had my back, the Dark Goddess asked me to go deeper.. and so it was, that I was invited to go out for a surf with a friend.
As I sat there in the ocean, I prayed… “Spirit, guide me to be responsible for what I am feeling. Guide me to what I need to deepen into”
And then I worked with the medicine of the snake… I ate my own pain. All the pain that I had wanted to project on these women.. “They are trying to silence me!” “They can’t handle my fierceness!” … I ate instead. I breathed the pain in. I literally consumed it into my being.
I have learned this pattern from nature. Poo and dead leaves are not a gross mess to the forest.. they are gold, that once assimilated, becomes valuable nutrient, and new growth.
Once I started breathing into my pain, and owning it, 2 realizations came up:
1) <3 I still do not fully own my truth.
Kali, the Hindu Goddess of creation and destruction, lives within me, and for many who do not fully understand her medicine, she comes off as a vengeful bitch. But what she’s actually doing is challenging you to see the parts of yourself you cling to… that are not actually you, that are not actually in alignment.
My truth is loud, and Kali often writhes in my belly, the slippery snake sliding around her neck, body, and more deeply into mine, intertwining us.
I am still not fully comfortable with her power. The world has demonized her. We can see this is the ways her sacred colours - red and black - are associated with hell and evil. We can see this in the way that Christianity turned woman, the snake, and pleasure into the root of why the world fell. And this energy permeates our culture, whether we’re aware of it our not.
The feedback I was receiving from the external, was mirroring a place in myself that does not fully own my truth. The part of me that is sacred of not being liked or understood, still has a little bit of a hold in me. This shadow was reflected.
2) I am empowered.
As soon as I spoke these words to myself, out there in the water, my whole being calmed and I felt whole.
Here is the reflection for the other now, for in every situation, a myriad or medicine can come through if we are open to it. Some for me, some for you.
On the same tangent of point #1… The shadow of sisterhood (and the shadow of all humans actually) —- still has issues with a woman being loud, proud and in her truth.
When women come to each other and say… “I am small, I am weak, please help me sisters.” - that sister usually receives a lot of support. Her position doesn't threaten our ego.. we can tend her and soothe her.
But when a women (and maybe that very same woman from before, now healed!) comes to the circle and says, I AM EMPOWERED, I own my truth, I challenge you to do the same, I have deep medicine to offer, I own I can serve you. I own I have medicine. I own I have purpose. I own my empowerment. I am whole. I do not need you to validate me.
Well… often times… we shudder. I cant help but think of this very same sentiment being expressed by my contemporary Sara Sophia Eisenman recently:
<3 “Maybe we can hold our sister when she is down, and that is good. A beginning. But can we hold her when she is rising, soaring, glowing, immense and kicking ass? Can we hold her and love her when she isn't "humble" but direct and successful and bold and beautiful as the sun? Can we love her when she doesn't kowtow, back down, defer or play small for our or anyone's comfort? Can we resist the urge to crush her and "bring her down to size," and secretly revel in her failures because it "serves her right"? Can we release the old specters of jealousy and gossip and unconscious desire to be more "beautiful," popular, admired? Can we honor and celebrate her shine and success as though it is our very own? That is where the real work of sisterhood lies, on the edge, today.” <3
Personally, in my FB group, I encourage women to share their work. I know how scary it is for so many of us to come out and speak out truths and share our medicine --- and so I feel that a sisterhood and a FB group, is the PERFECT place for people to get comfortable sharing and expressing.
And so I say this to those who asked me to tone it down… Thank you for the trigger. TRULY! I am actually grateful. I am not just saying that.
I will continue to own my truth, and the shadow mirrors that just came to me, have now helped me deepen into that.
You can delete me from your groups, ban me from your posts, or what have you.
It won’t matter to me in this place of centre.
I will fall off and forget this, but I will come back.
Because I will still ROAR my truth, and it will be heard my whom it is meant to be heard by.
I will share my website because in my heart of hearts, all I want is to be of deep service to this planet.
I have found a pathway, in fact, many pathways, to wild self-expression, and a foundation of self-love, and worth… and my Goddess.. it would be disrespectful for me NOT to share it.
If a woman thinks, when she reads my post, and sees a small note about a website to go deeper… triggers her. If that makes her think I am trying to take advantage of someone, or in some way am not honouring my sisters… Well.. that is her mirror now. I am her trigger. Funny how that works, hey? She has her own work to do, I’m doing mine.
I know in myself, why I created that website. And it wasn’t to toot my own horn, believe me, although my ego can still come in with misaligned pride for what I have created… really and truly overall.. my work, my writing… comes from that ROAR to awaken the tribe.
It comes from deep service.
I could die tomorrow, I want these channelings out, I want to them to be ingested by those they could serve.
And if you would like to censor that, if you would like to say it’s salesy or not in alignment,
Then that is just fine.
I have an ocean to surf,
A truth to roar,
A heart to love,
And a planet to help awaken.
And I will continue to do so, with or without your help.
Although in actuality, whether you offer support or resistance, that is help to me, with the medicine of the snake.
Much love always, thank you for the triggers. I will keep ingesting this medicine, ingesting my pain, until I can stand firmly in my I AM presence.. no apologies.
I walk the path to owning it.
And in this moment, I am.