Announce yourself unexpectedly
In my sleeping hours
For the thousandth time
Literally
I’ll push you away
As you do with me
But we both know
That will never work
Cosmic roots run too deep
But so does prejudice
And fear
In this earthly life
Whatever the lesson
The way to complete freedom
Show me
I surrender
Take me there Spirit
I am your willing participant
Unshackle the chains of attachment
Help me to plunge
Into the river of clarity
It's so easy to compare and compete
Matching up social media images
To perceived ideas of other's lives
But let me make it clear
As much as there is joy and purpose
Flowing through me
There is also a torrential downpour
Of collective pain
That stays with me
As I move around the world
Sleep in my cozy bed
And make food
For my body temple
And with this,
I open
To the work
Of transmuting
Part snake
Part mermaid
Part deep and dark
Part light and expansive
Everything exists within me
Demonize me
Or put me on a pedastal
But I'll always be
Just like you
A being
Who holds the entire Universe
Within
I don’t want to be another girl you compare yourself to
Or woman
Whichever term you prefer
Better than
Or less than
2 sides of the same pendulum
I want to be beyond that with you
I want you to know I live with shame in my veins
Crusty residue of a society ready to fall
I want you to know I long for the same things you do
For everlasting love + deep peace within
Sometimes I feel like I fall short in so many ways
But still I try, and live each day, aiming to be more me
More true
Just like you
I have days where I feel sexy as fuck
And groggy as fuck
I question my decisions
Over-analyze things I cannot change
Explode with joy
And crumble with pain
Whenever I post
I want you to feel my humanity
My genuine desire for connection
That underlies everything I do
I’m not perfect
I will piss you off
Make you question things
Delight you with my vulnerability
And maybe even shock you
With my defensiveness
I am made of blood and bones
Of stardust and thrones
And dear sister
I want you to know
That I know
You are made
Of those things
Too
I don’t want to be another girl you compare yourself to
Or woman
Whichever term you prefer
Better than
Or less than
2 sides of the same pendulum
I want to be beyond that with you
She strikes at me
With her knife
Hot with the sting
Of shadow sisterhood
I thank her for the initiation
Feeling disgust ripple up
Knowing I must soften
The journey is to find compassion
You, who offer me hatred
Become, ironically
One of my biggest teachers
Of forgiveness
In my pot of alchemy
Theres lives the shadow masculine
Afraid of him
I've been
Yet I stir the pot
With my purple spoon
Of transmutation
And root deep into my love
And through golden light
Emerges the sacred masculine
The one who I've been longing for
He's so lovely
And he's here
In my own being
In my own little pot
Of alchemy
Initiations open me wide
Snowy mountains
And great pyramids
Ancient roads
And modern vistas
With these two feet I walk
Feeling the energy of life pulse through
Opening all the places
I've been saying 'No'
And in this awareness
I feel there's so much more to go
My prayer rings out
Release all the parts of me
That cling to pain
I'm ready to dance the dance
And find immense pleasure
In the pouring rain
And there it is
The part of me
That can feel your lips
On mine
Tantalizing me
Of a future
I cannot yet see
But there in that moment
I have a choice
To put my energy outward
And search in longing
Or to call upon my warrior within
Proud brave and true
He lives inside me
Just like you
I call upon him to merge
With my feminine essence
Knowing I am male and female
And as I bring him in
Call him out
He teaches me
I don't need you
I want you
But I don't need you
There is a difference
Oh my dear
There is
A big
Difference
And so I will play
Getting to know the man within
For he'll always be with me
He is my true King
He embodies all
All the masculinity there is
And you
Are a function
Of Him
Not to diminish you
For your light is true
But to claim you as King
Would not be real
For the King and the Queen
Already live
Happily in my heart
It is I who must feed them
And make sure
They're never apart
You know those moments
Where everything just falls into place
The water is turquoise and perfect
His amber eyes are full of presence
The sun hits my skin just right
And it feels a little
Like heaven
And yet
You know it's fleeting
Life will continue to flow
This way and that
And the moment slips through our fingers
Never meant to last
Because life
Does not work like that
I decided
Today
I would not worry
or fret
About what was
Or what is to be
But I would let myself understand
That it is me
That makes life
Happy
I am the center
Of all I live
And in every moment
I choose to see
Divine perfection
Deciding not to long for days past
But to embrace the tides
Years ago
I would have been content
To dwell
In longing
But I'm changed now
I know too much
Life is too good
To waste
Longing for
What was
Let's open to the flow
It's only natural for things to go
But this moment offers everything
Just as it always has
Just as it always will
