Divine Feminine

The 'right' way to show up for spirituality - and a middle finger to it. ♥

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There's a standard in the spiritual community of what the 'right' way is ~ to live your life and to show up for your path.

It typically includes:


♥ A thorough morning routine, not to be missed, which includes meditation, yoga, green juice, and maybe some journaling, or chanting

♥ GOING FOR IT, going for your dreams, no matter what, acting every day to make them happen

♥ Manifesting abundance, and lots of it. Working on your relationship with money all the time

♥ Feeling sexy and practicing tantric techniques. If you're a woman, getting to know your womb + yoni

♥ Taking digital detoxes and getting away from the computer often

♥ Doing potent cleanses frequently, like juice cleanses, water fasts, coffee enemas, and the like.

If your news feed is anything like mine, you're inundated with information and 'inspiration' about how you should be doing all of these things, all the time, and then YOU, TOO, will be hitting the 'mark' as a spiritual being. You'll get your gold medal in the spiritual olympics, and will be able to be happy, rich, and healthy, basically all the time, if you follow the above steps. 

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Thats great and everything, but let's take a moment to be human... 

Although having a spiritual practice, taking care of our bodies, and working on our mindset are all amazing things and DO have an impact on our wellbeing, 

Here's the real shit... 

✦ Sometimes it's all we can do to get out of bed in the morning. ✦


We have cycles as humans.

Sometimes we're on fire... 

We can do all the things, 
We have energy for them, 
And we feel great. 
YAY!

And sometimes... 

Life hits us over the head with a cosmic hammer, 
And we have no inspiration or motivation to do a damn thing.

✦ This is called integration, 
And it currently gets very little space held for it, in the spiritual community. ✦


In my opinion, there really is only ONE thing we are being asked to do, to stay aligned with our Spirit. (And it's totally OK if we can't do it too, because that's a part of the learnings and our growth)

And that is... LOVING OURSELVES. 

Loving the one who can't get out of bed cause you feel so damn depressed. 

Loving the one who is trying her best. 

Loving your heart, as is. 

Loving your body, and respecting her process.

Loving the one who judges herself. 

Loving you. Just as you are. No strings attached. 


That's it. 
That's all. 

If you really want to grow spiritually, in my current understanding, that's pretty much the only thing you need to be focusing on. 

So consider this a little love note from me to you, that honours whatever process you're in. 

You actually don't need to run through a spiritual obstacle course everyday to be 'on purpose'.

You just need to love yourself, wherever you are. And you can start now by placing one hand on your heart and saying "I love you." It doesn't matter if you don't fully feel it, just keep saying it. Eventually, it will stick.

I love you. ♥


I used to have mild depression…this is how i healed it

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I used to have mild depression. For years, I would go in and out of these very lethargic states. Some days I would lie in my bed for much of the day - feeling sad, feeling pain, or often-times, just feeling numb and unmotivated.

I remember, once when I was teaching at a retreat in Bali, I told the facilitators that I felt 'it' coming on again... the dark hole. I was scared to go in it. I was scared it would eat me and I wouldn't come out again for a long time.

And that was the last time I felt that way.

Because instead of eating me, I ate it. I ate the shadow spaces, I ate my pain, by surrendering to it, and letting it move through me.

Since that day, many years ago, I've not experienced depression. Sad days, tough weeks, yes - but if you've experienced depression, you know that this ever-pervading state is more than just a sad day, or a tough week.

I credit healing my depression to the teachings of the Dark Goddess.

The aspect of the Divine Feminine, who teaches us to allow our pain, anger, and intense feelings, without judgement.

Often in spiritual circles, we are guided to "think positively" non-stop.

Many of us are starting to figure out that this can actually do more harm than good - as if we're suppressing our deeper emotions, we end up in a constant state of resistance - which actually worsens the depression and causes us to have big mood swings.

We will be working closely with the Dark Goddess and Her teachings, in my free journey - Walking as Priestess. {Sign up for that below}

This is a 5 day free deep dive with Kali, Isis + Mary Magdalene, and will help you get to know the Goddess in all Her aspects - helping you to embrace all of your emotions so you can integrate more of your power + brilliance into your life!

Sexuality. I used to suppress it. Big time...

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Sexuality. ★ One of the juiciest energies in my life today, use to be one of the most foreign.

I grew up taught to believe that sex was between a man and wife... and that's the extent of what sexuality meant.

The climate of sexual suppression I grew up in, meant that, by the time I was 17, I remember telling my best friend: "I don't know what it feels like to be "turned on."

Now Im sure some nice church loving ladies would be thrilled by that statement, and feel that a 17 year old girl should absolutely not know what it feels like to be aroused...

But the wild woman in me thinks that's actually really sad.

Because the experience of being "turned on", is not just about wanting to have sex...


~ I can feel turned on by life, open to endless possibilities and new opportunities
~ I can feel turned on by my own body, dancing the night away feeling the flames of passion and joy ripple through my body as I move
~ I can feel turned on by a creative project, feeling so excited to create something beautiful, meaningful and new
~ AND... I can be turned on by a lover, letting my body and soul soften and open up to the sensuality of moving in rhythm with a beloved, his heart, his body...

I claim sexuality as sacred now. 
I've done a lot of work around this, and I have more to do.

But I am still SHOCKED, to this day, when I share my views on sex - that I hold it as sacred, even when it's raw, primal, and crazy - how many people ask... "What do you mean by that?"

I can witness how many of us hold so much shame around sexuality... owning our bodies, finding pleasure in our movements, energy, and forms...

This has been conditioned into us. By the church. By patriarchy.

But it's time it stops.

★ Our bodies are holy. 
★ Our sexuality is PURE. 
★ Sex can initiate us into the orgasmic creative power of the Universe. 
★ Sex literally CAME from God/dess.

...In order to witness a revolution around sexuality,
We must experience a revolution in ourselves....

Some ways that my own inner revolution has changed me + my habits:


~ For starters... I DEFINITELY know what it feels like to be turned on... but the feeling doesn't control me. I can allow it and let it flow in different ways... (Still working on this...)

~ I no longer get sexual with men who can't really see me, who don't really love me. Even if it means I don't have sex for long periods (and I really like to have sex...) - I will say NO, if my womb and heart tell me to. No matter how sexy the guy, in question is... I now have boundaries after many years of saying yes to the wrong men who gave me red flags from the start.

~ I feel sexy. Straight up. When I dance. When I feel my hair brush against my skin. When I walk in nature and get muddy and messy. This never used to be the case. I felt cute, at best. Sexy was never a word, or a feeling, I was familiar with. Now I'm confident, and feel comfortable in claiming my beauty - in a world where we are told not to claim our beauty or our sexuality, because it's 'arrogant' or 'slutty' (...gag). *For example, I NEVER would have posted a picture like the on above 5+ years ago... NEVER NEVER NEVER... Now? Fuck it... I like the picture :)

~ I allow the excitement and joy of sexual energy to fuel me... This creates an aura of happiness + magnetism in my field, that pulls in all sorts of fun things - new friends, plane tickets, synchronistic adventures, clients, and more.

Like I said, in order to get to this place, after having the whole idea of sexuality be completely foreign to me, I had to do a lot of 'work', a lot of breathing, a lot of dancing, a lot of questioning, a lot of journaling, a lot of working things out through relationship...

I'm offering a free ceremonial activation of your Sacred Sexuality
, with Mary Magdalene, in a free 5 day journey called Walking as Priestess. You can sign up below to receive it!

Are we honouring the Dark Goddess? Or bypassing...

"I just feel really agitated lately, since the Plant Medicine, Anytime someone is all in the "love everything" vibe, I just feel agitated."

"Me too," I echoed, chiming in, in solidarity, "Lately when people are like "Love, all is love, I love everyone and everything!", I'm like "I hate you", and then I think "Omg Beth!" - because that's so not me. I know it's just a process."

I felt a shift in the room.

Is hate a strong word? Yes. Was I in a healing workshop? Yes. But that's how I felt - how I'd been feeling. I didn't censor myself.

I was at a breathwork workshop, and we were at the end of the circle, sharing about our experiences and what we've been going through lately.

At the start of the journey, we were told - all emotions are welcome here, nothing is ugly, nothing is bad.

And yet, I could feel, from one person especially, sitting across from me, what I stated, was indeed 'wrong' or at least, very distasteful in some way. Some comments were then shared about what irritation is all about, or how to process it. The energy was - "Let's help you 'fix' this".

And this, my friends, is where we're at --- we talk about letting all emotions be OK, making space for them. Learning to love anger as we love light...

But we don't live it.

We don't embody it.

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Even me, as I left the workshop, I felt ashamed for sharing the potent energy inside of me. "I shouldn't have shared that, the space wasn't being held for me."

But even there, I caught myself, I was ashamed of my own powerful feelings. Thinking they must not be OK, if they triggered other people, by simply sharing them.

I had to breathe through those feelings for hours.

But sitting here now, I feel differently.

I have sacred rage inside of me.

And grief underneath that.

During a recent Plant Ceremony, I had a past life recall that was so intense, I could do nothing but cry like an animal, when it surfaced. I didn't even know I could make sounds like that.

And now, in the wake - yes I'm angry. Yes I have grief.

And yes, that's all OK. My soul has been through a lot. (Can you relate?)

...

It's time the healing community learns the difference between being in a genuine space of love, and simply spiritual bypassing, floating in the higher chakras.

If you state you are in a deep vibration of love, but cower back and judge another who is not feeling the same way - you are not in a true space of love, you're in an unintegrated state.

If you state you are in a deep vibration of love, and feel your heart grow wider, your compassion growing deeper, as someone shares the nitty gritty of their darker depths - you ARE in a space of love.

Is it a touch arrogant for me to be defining when someone is genuinely in a space of love, and when they aren't?

Maybe.

But what feels real is this - As spiritual brothers and sisters, it's time to honour the Dark Goddess.

Not from our minds.
Not as a concept.

But from an embodied knowingness.

She is the crazy bitch who takes you in the night and throws you deep in the pit of your own fears, to wake you the fuck up.

She is the one who stands at the gateways between birth and death - yonis splitting open in blood and screams. Last breaths being taken as souls return to the Mystery.

She is the one with unending compassion and love, who guides you to see your own bullshit so you can be who you truly are.

And 99% of the time - she ain't pretty.

I pray we grow, together, to appreciate Her and hold space for Her.

To not cower in fear or judgement when She speaks, when She roars.

For I truly believe, it is in honouring Her, that we will restore this Earth to balance.

So my dear, 
I leave you with this,
I honour your darkness, 
I honour the shadow that inhabits it, 
And I honour the sacredness of the void that lives inside of you.

You are not too much, 
What is inside of you, is not too much,
For me.

Menstrual Blood Ceremony...

Like most women, I used to lament getting my period. I'd use tampons and take painkillers to basically simulate the illusion that I wasn't bleeding. I didn't focus on taking time for myself to listen or to tune in, while bleeding. Because like most of us - I'd never been taught.

From the very beginning of getting my moon (what I call my period now) - I felt shame, and kept it as hidden as possible.

Fast forward to today - my continued awakening over the last 8 years reminded me of an ancient secret - one my body already knew. My bleeding phase is sacred, my blood is sacred.

Honestly where I stand today I don't know why most people are so 'grossed out' by menstrual blood - my moon in Scorpio, vampy self actually finds blood to be sexy, mysterious, dark, and primordial. The deep red hue connects us to something inside of us that's incredibly deep and wild.

Ancient cultures would use menstrual blood in sacred rites - aware of its power.

Women were not allowed in Native American sweats who were bleeding - not because they were 'dirty' - but because they believed the prayers from a woman who was bleeding would be much louder than everyone else's - she was that much closer to the mystery.

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Today I honour my blood and I give it back to the earth in ceremony. This is a picture from my most recent moon time ceremony, here in Peru.

I talk about this more in a free journey I am offering this month. In this journey, I share a video of how I do ritual with my blood. Sign up below! 🌹🕷❤️🌙

Time for greater authenticity in friendships...

Time for greater authenticity in friendships. 
Especially with females. 
I understand we have sisterhood wounding. 
And sometimes it's hard to get past. 
But I no longer have space for fake friends.

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Yes, I can feel you when you judge me. 
Or flip flop between wanting to tear me down + cheer for me. 
I can feel when your intentions for me are not the best. 
And I notice when you say you'll be there for me, 
But when it comes down to it, 
You aren't.

I don't care if you talk about spirituality, 
Or if your work is supporting women. 
I can read through the lines, 
Feel through your words.

I'm done pretending I cant, 
And I'm done making excuses for you.

I can have compassion, because I know it can be hard to let down our walls sometimes. 
But I will have to let you tear those walls down from afar. 
And ask you to call me when you've processed.

Because I'm coming into a space where I am clear about what I'm worth,
And how I deserve to be treated.

There is a difference between seeing someone as my mirror, 
Honouring my own shit,
And receiving triggers as medicine,

And ...

Letting someone in my field, 
Who is not actually supporting me, 
But pretending they are.

Thank you to my friends who unconditionally love and support me,  
And are honest with me about where you're at. 
Thank fully, there are quite a few of you, 
And I'm grateful.

I am learning, growing, changing, 
Once happy to let anyone in my field, 
Now, letting nature and my intuition tell me who is good for me, 
And who to let go of.

All this, said in loving boundaries, 
From someone who used to have 0.


Entering the pit of my own longing...

For years I have been aware of a longing so strong, that it surpasses words or explanation. A man triggered this in me, and for so long, I was certain that it was this particular man I longed for.

Thankfully he did not give me what I thought I wanted, and recently after a year of largely ignoring the situation, I have come to look at it head on and ask what is truly needed here.

And as such, I have been asked to deep dive into the pit of my own longing.

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My longing is for my inner beloved, it is for the throws of ecstatic bliss and alchemical magic that comes from inner union, when the Masculine and Feminine truly align, harmonize, and surrender into one another to become a sacred third... Union.

My ego mind resisted this truth for a long time. It is so much easier to long for someone outside of ourselves, and numb the pain of not getting it... Than to quest within and to honour that what we crave occurs on the inner planes.

The ego hates the answer that what we are looking for is within. it likes tangible. It likes a chase. And it likes drama.

I've had recurring dreams where I pursue a beloved for years now, and he is never available, always outside of my reach.

What I now see clearly is these dreams have been showing me that I have been carrying a story of being unworthy, of not being enough, of not meeting the mark in some way.

These stories have manifested in my external life in repeated rejection from the men that I truly love + see.

This rejection has forced me to own my own stories, and let them go.

What appears to be poison on the outside, is medicine on the inside, if we're willing to take the plunge.

I choose to step into the deep darkness of my own consciousness and claim my worthiness so I can meet and unify with my Inner Beloved.

He lives within me. This is the practice of the Ancient Mystery Schools of Ancient Egypt. To unify the polarities within us, and embody ecstatic sacred inner union.

Those who have activated this inner union radiate a power and presence that is hard to ignore.

And it is this sacred inner union that magnetizes a beloved in the physical realms that can meet our truest, deepest, darkest, lightest, and fullest wishes.

To the path...

I walk not for the outcome on the material plane...

But for the glory of that which resides on the inner...

To truth. 


If you resonated with the post, and want to continue the discussion, please join our private FB group, Sisterhood of the Mermaid Moon, here

Sister to Sister

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I don’t want to be another girl you compare yourself to

Or woman

Whichever term you prefer

 

Better than

Or less than

2 sides of the same pendulum

 

I want to be beyond that with you

I want you to know I live with shame in my veins

Crusty residue of a society ready to fall

 

I want you to know I long for the same things you do

For everlasting love + deep peace within

 

Sometimes I feel like I fall short in so many ways

But still I try, and live each day, aiming to be more me

More true

Just like you

 

I have days where I feel sexy as fuck

And groggy as fuck

 

I question my decisions

Over-analyze things I cannot change

Explode with joy

And crumble with pain

 

Whenever I post

I want you to feel my humanity

My genuine desire for connection

That underlies everything I do

 

I’m not perfect

I will piss you off

Make you question things

Delight you with my vulnerability

And maybe even shock you

With my defensiveness

 

I am made of blood and bones

Of stardust and thrones

And dear sister

I want you to know

 

That I know

You are made

Of those things

Too

 

I don’t want to be another girl you compare yourself to

Or woman

Whichever term you prefer

 

Better than

Or less than

2 sides of the same pendulum

 

I want to be beyond that with you